Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Welcome to Flawless Conversations. I'm Tameka Jones and today we're diving into how mindset can shift your life, your confidence, your purpose.
You're watching now Media Television.
Welcome to Flawless Conversations where we dig deep into real stories behind success, what it takes to rise, grow and live boldly without pressure of being perfect.
Today's guest is Ryan Herpin, co founder of managing partners of Impact Strategies Consulting.
With over a decade of experience helping companies streamline operations, building strong leadership teams and boost profitability, Ryan is a true force in the world of business transformation. He's also a published author and a passionate advocate for sustainability, success and work life balance. Ryan, welcome to Flawless Conversations.
Let's start with what happens when we finally give ourselves permission to stop being perfect.
[00:01:08] Speaker B: First and foremost, it's such a pleasure to be here and that's such a powerful thing to really talk about.
Really, the biggest thing that holds us back in life is ourselves. We like to cut ourselves short. We like to believe we're not capable, not perfect. I have a little saying, progress over perfection. If you wait for perfect, you're never gonna start.
So giving yourself permission is really the key to getting anything done. You just gotta go. So as soon as you can be okay with moving forward, the whole process begins.
[00:01:40] Speaker A: I totally agree.
[00:01:41] Speaker B: It's better to move forward than stand still.
[00:01:43] Speaker A: I totally agree. I struggle with that myself, the whole perfection, you know, even with in the military, I served 23 years in the Air Force and I felt like everything had to be perfect, right? But it doesn't have to be right. Just do it.
[00:01:56] Speaker B: Yep, just do it. It's like the old Nike saying, just do it.
[00:01:59] Speaker A: Just do it.
[00:02:00] Speaker B: It's short. Sweet sums it up.
[00:02:01] Speaker A: I love it. So the problem people are facing or our audiences are facing is the constant need to get everything perfect.
It often feels like they're never enough, no matter how hard they try. And I totally can relate to this. Totally, totally, totally. Let's talk about that.
[00:02:22] Speaker B: Yeah. So for me, it's funny because I went through this battle for a long time, my career. I come from a small town called Battle Creek, Michigan, from bottom of the lower class. You know, we didn't really come from much. I don't have a college degree, put myself through trade school. So as I stepped into running bigger companies as director and chief operations officer, it was a struggle to believe I was capable, to believe I was worthy of it. How could I be qualified to do this thing?
But ultimately, and this might be contrary to a lot of people's beliefs, I found my Trust in faith and what the gospels told me and what my purpose was and what God's plan was for me and is much bigger than my plan. So with that in mind, I just stopped being afraid. I stopped worrying about it. I stopped caring about what other people thought and just started going in the direction I believed I was called from there.
It's no joke. It just kind of automatically keeps going.
It's crazy. The doors that open, the opportunities that unfold.
But when you move with faith and without fear, incredible things happen.
[00:03:31] Speaker A: Yes. And sometimes, like you said, we just have to do it. Do it Scared.
[00:03:35] Speaker B: Yes. Do it scared. That's such a good thing to say. Do it scared. Yes.
[00:03:38] Speaker A: Faith over fear.
[00:03:39] Speaker B: Faith over fear. Another good one. My goodness, your eyes.
[00:03:42] Speaker A: It's over. Beer. Yes.
So why do you think so many women and men tie their worth to getting or to trying to get everything right? Right.
[00:03:54] Speaker B: That's. It's. That's a. It's crazy because that's a pretty loaded question.
And the reason is we get caught in. We're caught in a society where we've got to compare ourselves to everybody. We want to be so important, so impactful, so passionate. We want people to look at us, respect us, honor us, appreciate us. And it's like keeping up with the Joneses.
[00:04:13] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:04:14] Speaker B: So sometimes the Joneses.
[00:04:16] Speaker A: The Joneses, Tamika Jones.
[00:04:17] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. So it's like we live our life measuring ourselves to others.
Whereas, great example, the most successful companies in the world don't care what their competition's doing. They're not looking at their competition. Their competition is their last year results.
Same thing in life. We find ourselves looking at our competition all the time, really. We're not competing with anybody. We're competing with ourselves.
Sooner we stop looking at everyone else, start looking at ourself. You can hit growth and change faster than you would ever believe.
It's just a matter of we feel we have to measure up to everyone else.
[00:04:53] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:04:53] Speaker B: So the sooner you stop trying to measure up to everyone else and measure up to yourself and who you believe you're meant to be.
[00:04:58] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:04:59] Speaker B: You'll start being that thing.
[00:05:00] Speaker A: That's good. That's. That's good stuff.
Hope you all are listening.
What was a movement in your leadership journey when imperfection actually led to greater impact?
[00:05:15] Speaker B: So this brings up a story, one of my favorite stories of my life thus far, and it's one that I've brought into keynotes into my mentorship program. A lot of different things.
I transitioned into director of a very large manufacturing company. With no leadership skills, really, I led small teams. I had a little bit of experience. I was younger than everybody else in leadership, but I was put in that role because I had to become the person that served everyone else. I earned that position by not doing what others taught me or told me or thought you should do. That's be the boss. I learned how to be the leader through servitude.
And instead of trying to demand everything from everybody, tell them what they've got to do. My job became, let me give you everything you need, Information, resources, and just build you up all the time.
And from that, you're going to succeed. So, like, being. Being a leader, right? Something that's a little unconventional and a lot of people steer away from is.
My objective is for my team to be better than me in every way. I treat it just like parenting. When you truly love your child, you're gonna handle the problems you're gonna handle in a way of love. But for me, raising my son, I think of him as my replacement for the world. So he better be better than me. My goal is to make him better than me. I'm not gonna make it easy on him. I'm gonna make that really hard, set the bar really high. But it's an unconventional leadership style, but it's one that I've seen work across the board every time it's been applied. So that's kind of that.
Sacrifice your ego and pride and be a servant, because when you're a servant, others want to return that servitude in any way, they can automatically, yes, servant leaders.
[00:07:01] Speaker A: Good stuff. Someone once told me the ego is edging God out.
[00:07:06] Speaker B: Ooh, that is such a good way to say that.
[00:07:09] Speaker A: Ego.
[00:07:10] Speaker B: Never thought of it like that, but that is a great way to put it. And I really think our biggest problems. Ego and pride.
[00:07:16] Speaker A: Ego and pride.
Yeah, I agree. I agree.
So how can we begin to reframe mistakes as meaningful moments of growth?
[00:07:29] Speaker B: This is a fun one, this one. A lot of my clients don't really like getting involved in so much because they feel like it takes away some authoritative power they have.
When you make a mistake, it's good to share that you're all human. We all make mistakes. Truth is, any kind of leader that's out there makes mistakes.
And if everybody makes mistakes, the power is in how we handle it, what we do from it. It's just like the old Rocky sayings, you know, it's not about how many times you get knocked down, you get back up.
[00:08:03] Speaker A: Right, Right.
[00:08:04] Speaker B: There's power in that, leading by example.
And when you run into a mistake, you have a problem, you mess up. Share it. Show everyone you're human, but show them that you keep choosing to move forward in the face of a problem. And even though it might be embarrassing sometimes, that's also an opportunity to change somebody else's life and perspective on how to handle those problems.
[00:08:26] Speaker A: Yes, I agree. I know when I make a mistake. Right. Or there's contrast, I've learned to take a step back and ask myself two questions. Right. What is the lesson I'm supposed to learn in it? And how can I grow from it?
[00:08:43] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:08:44] Speaker A: And that's where the real work began, right?
[00:08:47] Speaker B: Yes. That is so true.
[00:08:49] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. Good stuff. Okay, another question, Ryan.
What?
What, what?
What's a mindset or daily mantra that helps someone to stay grounded when things are all chaos? Or is it going as planned? So what do you do? What's your mantra? Go to affirmation or Bible scripture. Right.
[00:09:12] Speaker B: This is. I'm so glad you're asking this question.
You know, early on in my career, even before that, I was counted out pretty quickly from my graduating class. We had this time caps that we did in eighth grade, and we made predictions about each other's lives.
And with that being the case, my class predicted, predicted I would be the most likely to end up in prison or working McDonald's for the rest.
So from that was born a mantra, something I've lived by.
Someday, those who didn't believe in me will tell the story of how they met me.
[00:09:44] Speaker A: I love it.
[00:09:44] Speaker B: And that keeps me grounded. It reminds me of why I do what I do. Not out of spite, but out of the power to motivate and inspire others that they can do it, too.
[00:09:54] Speaker A: I love it. Oh, I love it.
Love it, love it, love it. Ryan, thank you for that powerful start to our conversation.
For those who want to learn more or connect with you online, how can they find you?
[00:10:09] Speaker B: Very, very easy. I've got a website, LinkedIn, starting to really try to grow that social media. But my website is really easy to Find me and LinkedIn as well.
My team filters everything through me because I do not let any connection go to the wayside. So. So any opportunity is a powerful one.
[00:10:28] Speaker A: Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you all for watching flawless conversations. We'll be back.
We'll be right back to remind you that healing is possible.
Confidence is yours, and that you are flawless.
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Welcome back, Ryan.
[00:11:50] Speaker B: Such a pleasure being here.
[00:11:51] Speaker A: Yes, business strategist, leadership consultant, and the calm and the storm for high achieving professionals. In this segment, we're talking about overwhelm.
What to do when life feels like a never, never ending juggling act and you're one task away from burnout. Oh my goodness. I know this so well. The problem facing many in the audience is chronic overwhelm burnout.
It often feels like they're juggling everything with no time to breathe or to be present.
So how do you help leaders and business owners create systems that reduce stress instead of adding more pressure?
[00:12:47] Speaker B: This is one of the most important things that I like to cover with any one of my clients, any one of my mentees, any business I'm dealing with. Because truth is, we get trapped in a cycle of living to work over working to live. It has become the norm in our capitalist society.
For better or for worse. It's just what has happened.
And there's this old analogy, a little science project that my biology teacher did a long time ago that I'll never forget, took a jar, mason jar, dropped in big stones, said, these are your core values, the most important things in your life. Then he dumped in some pebbles. These are your hobbies, your likes, the things you want to do, things you like to enjoy, some of your goals and achievements that you want. Then he dumps in sand, fills up even more space.
And these are the things you spend your time on outside of that. You're playing video games, scrolling on TikTok, all these different things. Then he dumps water in and fills up the rest, says, is there any more room for more of those core values, those, those more big stones in there?
No. So you got to prioritize those first because if the sand goes in first, the pebbles go in first. You'll have no room for those really big important things.
So really, to help people get into alignment in life and in business, you have to have your priorities straight.
Whatever your core values really are, those have to be your core values. It's just like, this is a great way to put this.
I'm working on developing a program to help business leaders lead their business in faith in a way that honors God first. Because here's one thing I see. Across the United States, we are great at making God a part of our life, not the center of our life. The business becomes the center of our life, and that is backwards. Whether you believe in God or not, it is the same thing. Or your family might be just a part of your life, not the center of your life. Your ambitions, your goals might become the whole thing that you're after instead of spending that time. I've never heard anybody at the end of their life, on their deathbed say, I wish I would have made more money. It's always, I. I wish I would have spent more time.
And that right there is a. When that conversation pops up, it usually starts to hit some of those deep parts of an entrepreneur where like, man, I've been doing this wrong. I've been sacrificing too much for this.
Truth is, you can achieve whatever dream you want without sacrificing the most important things. Just might be a little bit harder. But you wouldn't be doing it if it was easy. Everyone would be doing it.
[00:15:16] Speaker A: I love it. I love it. I know a lot of my military buddies went through that. Right. They served so many years in the military, and then after they got out, they only had their family. Right. Their family was still there and took the uniform off. And, you know, afterwards, their kids would say, well, you wasn't there for graduation. You wasn't there. You know, but like you said, it's that balance. And I don't even think it's the balance. I think it's being whole. Right. Because we'll always be out of balance. Right. We're at work when we couldn't go to basketball practice with our, you know, child or gymnastics. Right.
[00:15:51] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:15:51] Speaker A: So we'll have some imbalance, but whole. Right, Is what we're saying.
[00:15:54] Speaker B: Maybe it's rhythm. Oh, maybe it's rhythm. You know, sometimes the business might need more of you. Sometimes the family needs more of you.
[00:16:00] Speaker A: So that finding that rhythm.
[00:16:02] Speaker B: Finding that rhythm over balance. I think balance is a bit of a facade, because when we think of balance, we think of equal. But there's no way you can have equal time, equal effort, equal focus on everything all at once.
[00:16:12] Speaker A: Up, down.
[00:16:12] Speaker B: Maybe rhythm is what actually brings us to whole.
[00:16:15] Speaker A: Yeah. I love it, I love it, I love it.
What signs do you look for when someone is operating in survival mode instead of thriving?
[00:16:27] Speaker B: The easiest and biggest sign that I see is when your passions start to feel like weights.
When someone is doing what they love, but they're not really enjoying it, that's a pretty big sign. But at the same time, something that I see so often, so, so often is a very numb demeanor.
When you've been in it for so long, you've been sacrificing for so long, you've been fighting that fight for so long, and you're losing focus of your priorities, you develop a sense of numb. You become numb to things important, you become numb to the amount you're sacrificing. And that is a very quick way to kill your dreams and to kill the relationships around you. So big sign I look for is if something big happens and you don't react, you don't respond. If I bring up a touching, a point that should offend you or hit you somewhere deep and you don't react to it, that's a pretty good sign that you're going numb to what's going on. And that's one I see too often.
[00:17:28] Speaker A: Wow.
Wow. Yeah.
So what is one small but powerful daily practice to help someone reset mentally and emotionally during their busy day? Because everybody's busy. Life is life for everybody. Right. And it's how we look at it as well too. Mindset.
[00:17:47] Speaker B: So, yeah, yeah. I mean, life's always going to be busy, it's always going to be challenging. I mean, but the truth is you cannot be the best for those around you if you can't show up for yourself.
So you've got to be able to invest some time in yourself. So what I like to do and what I like to promote and focus on is routine, routine, routine, routine. I start my day with a routine that builds me, satisfies me, grows me, prepares me to be there for everyone else. When my job is to serve everyone to the best of my abilities and a lot of the time expect nothing in return, I've got to be able to build me up first so I can be strong for everyone else. So my routine starts with, I wake up, my alarm goes off, I count down from three, I jump out of bed sometimes not that easy. And I start my morning with a motivational video, someone yelling at me, Eric Thomas, T.D. jakes, Jim Rohn, plenty of people out there. But I start my day with a routine that prepares me for what might be hard.
David, goggins got a great, great analogy here. He said he starts his day with something that sucks so that everything else after that doesn't suck as bad.
And that's a good way to get yourself regrounded, to get yourself back in focus and under control is to give yourself a routine in the morning that puts you in the mindset you need.
[00:19:03] Speaker A: Yes, I love it. And also I'm the same way. I'm a servant leader as well. And a lot of times we pour into so many people, so many things, so many. Right. And at times we find ourselves depleted.
So how do you and I know you just told me some things you do daily, but when those times are extremely hard, right. And you're just, you know, you're at a low.
So what is the. What are the one. Do you go to your Bible? What is one thing that you can give me that you do instantly to help you get your vibration, your energy, or change your mindset?
[00:19:43] Speaker B: I seek Jesus.
I pray. I turn to my Bible. I turn to scripture, I turn to the Gospels. I turn to a book called Practicing the Way by John Mark Comer. Reminds me of what it means to be a disciple and that it's not always going to be easy. And truth is, I have traveled many roads, I've done many crazy things in life, and I have learned the rest I need, only God can provide.
I cannot provide myself with the rest. I need to be the person I'm called to be. I have to depend fully on my faith. I have to depend fully on Scripture. Without it, I couldn't do what I need to do.
[00:20:19] Speaker A: Gotcha. Good stuff. I love it.
So how can someone shift from saying yes out of guilt to saying yes out of alignment?
[00:20:31] Speaker B: That's a tough question. Because it's different for everybody. Yes, it really is. Because we all have different pressures in life. I mean, you know, obligations and commitments and things we've made.
I really think that the separation from guilt to purpose is out of understanding what is most valuable to you. Something I tell myself when I'm ready to quit, when I'm ready to give up, is I have come too far to make it this far.
I tell myself there's somebody out there that is looking to me for hope.
There's somebody out there where the next thing I say, the next thing I do might be the life changing thing for them.
Just as with my mentor, there's a few things he said to me that changed my life forever. And you never know what experience is right around the corner.
So for me, it's Just the hope and knowing and belief that what I'm doing makes a difference. That keeps it from guilt and puts.
[00:21:31] Speaker A: It in purpose, purpose, purpose driven life.
Ryan, that was incredibly helpful. Thank you, thank you, thank you. For our audience who wants to bring more calm to chaos, to their chaos. How can they connect with you?
[00:21:49] Speaker B: Yeah, so outside of the archaic ways of like smoke signals, you know, the bat sign in the sky. No, really, my website is a great way to find me my LinkedIn.
You know, there's a lot of ways to reach out to me. I make sure my email is readily available on my website as well as LinkedIn, so you can contact me there. I've got some social media rolling out and plenty of ways. However you reach out, it's gonna make it to me one way or the other. So feel free to reach out. And I'm always open to a conversation to help people in any way I can.
[00:22:16] Speaker A: So thank you, Ryan. Thank you for watching Flawless conversation. Stay tuned for more of Mr. Ryan Herpin. We'll be right back to remind you that healing is possible, confidence is yours, and that you are flawless. This is flawless conversations on NOW Media Television.
We're back with Ryan Herpin, whose work center around helping people succeed without losing themselves in the process. The next segment is all about identity. When your worth gets tangled up in your work and you forget who you are outside of your achievement. Let's explore the power of rediscovering self beyond the hustle and bustle.
The problem facing many in the audience is attaching their identity to what and who they are. It often feels like they've lost who they are outside of their responsibilities.
Ryan, why do you think Smart. So many people struggle to separate who they are from what they do or what they produce.
[00:23:33] Speaker B: It's a good question and I know a lot of people struggle with this and I can sum it up very, very easily. Lack of purpose.
When we lack a purpose, we don't see it clearly, we don't understand it or we get sidetracked. We very quickly identify ourselves with what we do. We very quickly the things we do, the person we are in the day to day becomes the identity that we have rather than the person that is striving for xyz.
So great example.
As I ran a big company once upon a time, my identity very much became the leader of that company. I started to rule with an iron fist out of fear sometimes. And it's because I was lacking my purpose. I was lacking understanding why I was doing this in the first place. What my Goals really were and, and I just get caught up in the day to day hustle of it all. And once I took a step back and realized I'm not being the man I wanted to be, I found my purpose again and I started moving differently.
It's easy to identify with what you do on a day to day and just that's who you are. If your purpose is not relevant in your mind, you got to remember why you're doing this, because that's who you are. The person who does it for this reason.
[00:24:47] Speaker A: Yes, yes, yes, yes. What is that book?
The Power of why is it the Power of why?
Simon Sinek, right? Yep, I read that powerful, powerful book. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.
In your coaching and consulting, how do you help leaders reconnect with their personal mission, not just the job title?
[00:25:12] Speaker B: First and foremost, you got to ask the right questions.
Here's something funny that I've learned over the years. The solution, the answer is not down at Walmart. You don't drive down to Walmart and pick it up. You have all the answers, you have all the solutions. You just haven't been asked enough questions. You haven't been asked enough reasons why. So when it boils down to trying to get somebody to get back in that position of operating out of purpose, identity in purpose, you just got to ask enough reasons of why are you doing this? Why are you like this? Why do you feel this way? Why do you think this is?
And eventually you get down to the root cause of what is distracting them from who they wanted to be in the first place.
And honestly, it is a very liberating experience to go through with people because it also reminds me in that moment of why I do what I do. Because when they are reunited with their purpose, my fire grows every single time. So it's just a matter of you need to ask yourself the right questions too.
I'm a big advocate for looking myself in the mirror and being real. Even when it sucks, I have to tell myself the truth. And I put on my mirror. At least I did for a very long time. My wife didn't like it all the time. Sometimes it annoyed her. All the things I wasn't doing. And then all my I am statements, I put those on my mirror. So my mirror became a battleground. So every day I had to face the facts. I had to look myself in the eye and face reality. And then I asked myself, why am I not this guy right now?
And it helped me stay in alignment. It helped me keep moving in purpose. My identity was Who I say I am, not what I do.
[00:26:50] Speaker A: Yes, yes. And I'm big on identity as well. When I retired from the military, took that transition to the civilian world, I was like, holy cow, who am I? What do I? You know? For 23 years, it was just eat, breathe, sleep. The military. Right. So when I took the uniform, I didn't know who Tameka really was. Right. So I had to find my identity. Right. Or refine my identity.
[00:27:15] Speaker B: Yeah. Which I can't even imagine. I've met several that had a very similar story and a problem there, and it's.
That seems like it could be difficult. What was it for you that kind of led you back into who you are?
[00:27:27] Speaker A: It was, for me, my defining moment was retiring and trying to figure that piece out.
Because before the military, I was a broken young woman. Right. So I joined the military, retired. I'm like, okay, who am I? What do I want in life? What is my passion? What is my purpose? I know, just like you, service is in my DNA. Right. Hence why I joined the military. Hence why I'm a nurse, and hence why I coach women. But I want a more.
[00:27:53] Speaker B: Yeah. The purpose was bigger.
[00:27:54] Speaker A: It was bigger. So that's kind of what led me on my identity path. To say, like you, I am. I am who I say I am.
[00:28:02] Speaker B: And it was being met with that big speed bump that almost looked impossible to go over.
[00:28:07] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:28:07] Speaker B: But you found it. And here we are.
[00:28:08] Speaker A: Yes. Here we are, Ryan. Awesome.
How can women and men uncover or start uncovering who they are when they're not doing for others? So how can women and men uncovering who they are when they're not doing for others?
[00:28:31] Speaker B: So it's. Yeah. You know, this was actually a tough one for me to think about for a long time, and I'm still always trying to figure it out, because my identity, very much has been. Has become serving others.
So with that being the case, it's those moments of reflection in the mirror when I have to face me.
[00:28:49] Speaker A: Right, right. That's good stuff. Good stuff. Good stuff.
So how do you guide someone to live from purpose instead of pressure?
Because, you know, I mean, every day to day. Hustle, right? The hustle, the grinding, right?
[00:29:04] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
It gives a lot of weight.
[00:29:07] Speaker A: Right.
[00:29:07] Speaker B: Carries a lot of weight when you're trapped in that. But to live with purpose is to live with the knowing that it's all gonna work out. I call it faith. Right. We talk about faith, you. And I also have faith in a lot of different things. Here's how I define faith. And this might be a little bit different than most acting in the belief of a warranty, guarantee or promise.
[00:29:30] Speaker A: Can you say that?
[00:29:31] Speaker B: Yes. Faith is acting in the belief of a warranty, guarantee or promise.
And my faith is in what God has called me to be. The identity that was spoken over me that I have heard, I have seen, and I have understood. Therefore, I now speak that identity over me so I can stay in alignment with my faith. And now that I believe that I act in accordance with who it is I believe I was called to become.
[00:29:56] Speaker A: So that's that divine alignment.
[00:29:57] Speaker B: 100%.
[00:29:58] Speaker A: Oh, I love it.
[00:30:00] Speaker B: 100%.
[00:30:01] Speaker A: I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it. So. So on flawless conversations, we have a flawless nugget and a flawless fact. So, Ryan, can you give the audience a flawless fact, something about you? It could be fun, interesting, it could be, I don't know, your favorite book, but a flawless fact about you.
[00:30:21] Speaker B: A fun, flawless fact about me.
Something that might be very interesting to most is I taught myself everything I know.
I did not have a college education, went through trade school.
I had this belief of there's nothing I can't do if I decide I want to do it.
Up against many others that have big degrees, a lot of experience. I had the mentality of no one will ever outwork me.
So I don't have a formal collegiate education.
I have a trial by fire education.
So that's a fun fact about me. I learned how to be a very fast learner.
[00:31:01] Speaker A: So that experience. Right, Full experience. I love it, I love it, I love it. Ryan. This was deeply personal and needed conversation. Definitely needed conversation. For anyone ready to rediscover who they are outside of the hustle culture, where can they find more of Ryan?
[00:31:22] Speaker B: Easy, easy, easy. I have my website, I have a LinkedIn. My email is readily available there. There's phone numbers you can get ahold of me from. There's plenty of ways to reach out to me. It might go through my team first, but it will always end up with me. So any way you want to reach out is a good way. And I'm always open to conversations.
[00:31:39] Speaker A: Thank you.
This was a great conversation with Ryan. Don't go anywhere more to come with Ryan Herpin.
We'll be right back to remind you that healing is possible.
Confidence is yours, and that you are flawless.
This is flawless Conversations on NOW Media Television.
And we're back. I'm Tameka Jones and you're watching Flawless Conversations on NOW Media Television Television. Are you ready? Let's go. We're wrapping up today's episode with Ryan Herpin, business advisor, mindset coach, and the system strategist who believes inner healing and external flow goes hand in hand. In this final segment, we're digging into what happens when your life or business just isn't working. And while the solution may lie deeper than just better time management, the problem many people are facing, especially this audience, is disorganization and life out of sync. It often feels like no matter how hard they try, something is always off.
What are some hidden systems or patterns that keep people stuck, stuck in this survival cycle?
[00:33:07] Speaker B: Such a powerful topic and a really, really good question because I don't think there's one answer that fits all. Because I think if there was, someone would be marketing and selling it by now, right?
[00:33:19] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:33:20] Speaker B: But I really, really think to kind of get out of that chaotic, just offbeat movement and to find that rhythm again really boils back down to kind of what we talked about before. And that's keeping your core values in alignment, remembering number one, what your purpose is, paying attention to your core values and operating in the belief that everything's gonna be okay. It kind of boils down to almost my three principles of success, really.
It is purpose, discipline in routine execution, being present for your family, whatnot, and then that self belief aspect. With those three principles, you're gonna always have that sustainment of rhythm in life and it'll keep you grounded, keep you grounded. And I think without those principles, it's too easy to get lost.
[00:34:14] Speaker A: Yes. And I love those principles. Can you please repeat those principles for the audience again?
[00:34:18] Speaker B: Yeah. So it's funny because I wrote a chapter in a book called the Change with Jim Britt, Jim Lutz, and Les Brown. And my chapter was all about those three principles. Purpose is the foundation of your life and everything you do. Discipline is the engine that builds that life, and self belief is the glue, the thing that holds it all together.
So when that discipline has built this beautiful skyscraper of achievements and wonder in life, that belief in yourself is what keeps it standing. And that firm foundation of purpose gives you a ground to stand on for it to keep building higher. So I think with that, you're able to get out of that mundane, crazy chaos and get back into a flow of rhythm that actually works for you. But if you're lacking even one of those principles, you're going to be out of rhythm, you're going to be out of sync, and things are going to get a whole lot harder.
[00:35:10] Speaker A: I love it. I love it.
So how do you help People identify what parts of their life, parts of the lives that need better structure versus more flexibility.
[00:35:25] Speaker B: So easy question is, what stresses you out right now?
What's bothering you? Let's put pressure on you. What's hard right now? And usually if we take a second, we can all think of really everyone watching as well. Take a second and think what is stressing you out right now?
Okay. Maybe that's something you need to focus on at target. Maybe that's where you're out of sync, where your rhythm has been lost, break down. Why? You can always ask why, why, why, why, why? Far enough and you're going to have an answer.
So that right there is kind of my way of getting to the bottom of it so that I can get back into that sustainable movement again, get.
[00:36:05] Speaker A: Back in sync with things.
Yes. Good answer.
What's one process or toolkit strategy that helps bring peace to personal or professional chaos?
So one process or toolkit strategy, I'm sorry, that you use to help bring peace to your personal or business.
[00:36:29] Speaker B: Yeah.
It's funny because it ties into so much. But that rhythm and that time with the people that matter most to me having that routine for me to build me up and then spending intentional, genuine time. It doesn't even have to be a lot of time. It has to be really intentional with the people that matter most to me. With my wife, my kids, my brothers, my mother, my father.
Those people. Just spending that time with them reminds me part of the humble aspect of where I came from. Who around me is witnessing me do this?
And sometimes I like to believe that my family that's closest to me look to me for hope. They look to me for belief. Someday I want to be able to tell my kids to chase their dreams because their father has and still is. Or maybe I've achieved those dreams. I want to be able to stand there without that weight of hypocrisy, knowing that I can tell the people around me to do it because I've done it or I'm doing it. It's possible. Right.
And that's.
It may be a little deep, but that's the truth of it.
[00:37:36] Speaker A: Well, you're setting an example for your family, your kids, so that living legacy, right, that we want to leave behind for our loved ones.
So why is it so important or why is it so hard, I'm sorry. For people to ask for help when their systems are failing, or how can they begin to ask for help?
And we talked about ego too, right?
[00:38:00] Speaker B: I was just about to say. I was just about to say, because this is the question that everyone likes to steer away from. Because we want the help. At least we tell ourselves we do. Sometimes we can see the obvious writing on the wall that, man, maybe we don't have all this perfect, but our pride and ego get in the way. Entrepreneurs. So trying to sell my services as a consultant, a coach, business strategist, it's really difficult because I'm talking to business owners, entrepreneurs that built their business, they started it without me. Why would they need me? And here's what I say. It's not that you need me.
I'm here as gasoline to throw on the fire. I'm here to help you get there faster. People work with me when they take their goals seriously.
So to ask for help is not always from a position of weakness.
Sometimes asking for help is a position of strength because you have the intellect, the confidence, and the humble attitude enough to know you could get there faster, you could get it done better. And maybe I'm not always right.
I think there's a lot of power in asking for help. I ask for help all the time.
All the time. I have a big, beautiful network of experts and all these different things. If I'm struggling with a client on one thing in particular, I'll call someone in my network and say, hey, I need another perspective on this.
I need help.
At the same time, as I'm getting more influence, more perspective, they're getting an opportunity to be useful, to be helpful. Now we're touching some fulfillment for them, and now they want to reach out to me more often because I reach out to them for help.
So now they're more open to my help as well. There's a lot of power in asking for help, and it's not a thing that should be shameful.
We should be proud that we can can ask for help and then utilize that help. Because it takes somebody strong, mentally, emotionally to put their pride and ego aside.
It's a big problem.
[00:39:54] Speaker A: And when I think about that, I think of mentorship. Right? It's good to have a mentor. Right?
[00:39:58] Speaker B: It's good to have a mentor. If it wasn't for my mentor, I would not be where I'm at today. If it wasn't for somebody to be honest with me, even when it hurt, I would definitely not be sitting here with you. It took a lot of hard conversations and people that cared about me, but. But that mentor in particular was willing to put the effort in when no one else would. They were willing to sacrifice their time to guide me when they had no obligation to do so. It was a sense of that was where they found their fulfillment. And because of that, I am who I am today. I was able to realize what I can be. I was able to understand that purpose and hear that calling from God and start moving forward with it. So it's along the same thing. Pride and ego also get in the way of mentorship.
If you got too much pride and ego, you're not going to really be open to somebody that could potentially help you change your life.
[00:40:49] Speaker A: I agree. I agree.
How can bringing order to our external world support deeper healing on the inside?
[00:41:01] Speaker B: Reality, reality, reality.
You know, a lot of people want to live in this imaginary place in our mind. It's just like social media.
When you look at social media, usually what you see is the best of people's lives. They show what they want you to think about them. They show what they want you to see and believe about them. But reality is completely different.
Where it might look like someone's living a life of beach to beach, vacation to vacation, you know, you don't see all the grind and hustle and all the hard things they have to do in between. You don't see the loss of family. You don't see the internal battles they have.
So truth is, you're going to see a lot of what people really want to show you, not so much what's real. So being in reality is so vitally important.
Have your head in the clouds, but your feet firmly on the ground.
If you have your eyes only on the horizon, you're going to trip over stuff in your way.
So you got to be in reality to move forward. You've got to be in reality to actually get anywhere.
[00:42:03] Speaker A: And your reality is your reality. Right? My reality is my reality. But you have to identify with it, like you said, and be willing to step out to start that healing from the inside. And you also talked about how you are. I just remembered this, how you are such a servant leader. You always pouring into your people. So you. We were talking about the mentorship and needing help.
So you do that as well. You help your folks when you consult, you help business owners do that. You help others as well. So you pour into others just as others pour into you.
[00:42:41] Speaker B: Yeah, it's funny because when people hear consultant, they have a pre notion of what that is. I use consultant as a pretty loose term of what I am and what I do because to do what I do is so much more. I'm a coach, I'm a consultant, I'm a mentor, I'm a partner. I'm a fractional implementer, even. I jump in the mix with you and I help you figure it out, whether it be life, business, doesn't matter what it is. And it all boils back to mentorship.
And that's. I even started a mentorship program where I'm helping a lot of young men and women figure out what their purpose is, what their goals are, get their self figured out and to also deal with some trauma and use that as fuel rather than an excuse.
So there's a lot of power in that. And it is something I'm truly, truly passionate about because same time you're helping somebody, you never know what someone might say that could change your life or their life. So sometimes when I'm mentoring people, in moments I'm the mentee, they say something that helps me, and it's just a beautiful exchange that could not be truly nailed down. But there's a lot of beauty to it.
[00:43:49] Speaker A: Awesome. I love it. So in flawless conversations, we have a flawless nugget and a flawless fact. Ryan already gave us our his flawless fact. So now we gonna talk about Ryan's flawless nugget. Just a takeaway you want the audience to take away from this segment, this episode.
[00:44:10] Speaker B: Okay. There's a little bumper sticker saying I like to use in one of my keynotes, earned, not given, not working the odds. And this one has been really important for me throughout my career, my progress, my growth. And it's, if you do what's hard, life will get easier. If you do what's easy, life's gonna get harder. So you've got to get really comfortable being uncomfortable.
[00:44:33] Speaker A: Can you say that again for us?
[00:44:35] Speaker B: Yes. Yes. If you do what's hard, life will get easier. If you do what's easy, life's only going to get harder. So you got to get really. You got to get really comfortable being uncomfortable. You've got to push yourself to places that are unfamiliar because growth doesn't come from comfort zones. If you take your day, spend time just scrolling social media, goofing off, playing games, not doing what you're supposed to, not pursuing your purpose, you're not going to get anywhere good. And older you get, the more time that goes on, more responsibilities show up, more obligations are there. So the sooner you put in the work, the sooner you do what's hard, the sooner you can enjoy an easier side of life.
[00:45:11] Speaker A: Love it, love it, love it. Ryan. Ryan. This segment, the final segment, was perfect to close, powerful, healing, and practical for our viewers who want to bring the flow back into their lives or business.
Where can they find.
[00:45:31] Speaker B: Well, you can find me kind of all over the place for the most part in the sense of if you have a supercomputer in your pocket, your phone, you can go to my website, my LinkedIn social media stuff that I'm starting to roll out, especially as I publish a couple new books and really start ripping through the keynote speaking world. But feel free to reach out to me there. You can connect me directly even via my email that's on the website and I'm open to any kind of conversation.
[00:45:56] Speaker A: Awesome. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Ryan. Thank you so much for joining us today on Flawless Conversation.
You've shared so many tools, truths and moments of reflection and reminded us all that it's not about being flawless, but it's about showing up anyway to our viewers. If you are feeling the pressure to be perfect, overwhelmed by expectations, or unsure of who you are beyond the titles and roles you play, know this, you are not alone.
Progress matters more than perfection.
Rest isn't failure, and healing is always available if we're willing to pause, ask for help, and put the right systems in place.
I'm your host, Tameka Jones. Thank you for being with us. Until next time, stay brave, stay curious, and remember, the most flawless thing you can be fully is unapologetically you. Thank you.
